Hard to make fun of the Cleveland Indians right now, as much as I want to, so instead I’ll spend some time making fun of the Cleveland Browns (even more than I usually do).

The Cleveland Browns are currently 0-6, the only team in the NFL without a win. They represent the first realistic shot at an 0-16 season since the Detroit Lions did it in 2008. Many Survivor Football players have picked against them every single week, even though they’ve played some pretty bad teams like Miami and Tennessee, and it’s worked.

So how did the browns get so ridiculously bad? Let’s take a look:

The Draft
Looking at the past 5 years of draft picks by the Browns is nothing short of hilarious. The calamity starts in 2011 when the Browns traded the 6th overall pick to Atlanta, in return for the 15th and 59th pick in 2011 and the 22nd pick in 2012. They used those picks to select Phil Taylor, Greg Little and Brandon Weeden. Taylor and Little are both no longer even in the NFL and Weeden is currently serving as the Houston Texans Backup QB. Meanwhile, Atlanta took the 6th overall pick they got in the trade and promptly selected Julio Jones, who’s a 3-time Pro-bowler that currently leads the league in Receiving Yards.

There are more disasters in 2012-2014 when the Browns used 3 top-8 picks to select Trent Richardson, Barkvious Mingo (who?) and Justin Gilbert. Nice Job Cleveland. They could have picked Luke Keuchly, DeAndre Hopkins and Aaron Donald (or Odell Beckham Jr) in the exact same spots, but who needs scouting am I right? Oh ya and then there’s Johnny Manziel… lol

brownsdraft1
Two of the picks were half-decent (Jabaal Sheard and Mitchell Schwartz) but both of them left in free agency and the Browns received no compensation for them. Can’t blame the players though. If I were a free agent I would gtfo of Cleveland too.

Too soon to make fun of the Browns for their 2015 and 2016 picks just yet but I’m sure they managed to blow it. I didn’t mind the Browns choice not to pick Wentz in the 2 spot this year but they passed up on Bosa, Elliot and Ramsey and they may regret that in a Julio-like manner.

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Salary Cap Management
Here is a look at the salary cap usage of two teams. One is the Cleveland Browns and one is the super bowl champion Denver Broncos. I’ll let you guess which one is which.
brownscap
Hypothetically, if the Salary Cap were $100, the Broncos spend $84 on the players on their active roster, with the remainder going towards a few injured players, a bit of cap space for future acquisitions and a small amount of dead money.

Meanwhile, the Browns spend that $100 as follows:
-$46 to players on the active roster (less than half)
-$27 unspent cap room (cause they’re straight up trying to lose)
-$18 in dead money, which refers to when you are still on the hook for players you released or traded, like Johnny Manziel and Barkevious Mingo.
-$6 goes to injured players cause obviously signing RG3 was a terrible idea.
-$1 goes to Non-Football Injuries cause someone hurt himself weightlifting.
-$1 goes to the practice squad.
-$1 goes to a suspended player cause Josh Gordon is in Rehab (though who can blame him for wanting to do drugs when he’s forced to live in Cleveland).

Coaching
The Browns are now on their 5th coach in the last 7 years and not since 1988 have they had a coach with a winning % above 50%.
clevelandcoaches
Recognize a name in there? Yup, the Browns fired Bill Belichick. Then he went on to coach the Patriots to 13 playoff appearances and 4 superbowls. Smooth move Cleveland.

Feel free to jump in on the Cleveland bashing in the comments.

-Petrie

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